Allyship has been a cornerstone of my journey. It’s not an overstatement to say that I would not be where I am today without the support of allies. For those who have had my back and given me the gentle nudge I needed, you know who you are – and I am deeply grateful.
But allyship isn’t just about men supporting women. It’s much more than that.
It is a conscious and consistent, long-term mindset that leverages privilege for the benefit of those who are underrepresented and marginalized.
And it all starts with you.
1. Understanding Your Own Privilege
What do you know about your own privilege?
Privilege extends far beyond gender or the color of your skin. It encompasses wealth, education, your mother tongue, body shape, citizenship, neurodivergence, age, and so much more (click the link for the Academic wheel of privilege).
Take a moment to reflect: How many of these attributes have held you back in any way? If the instances are few, your privilege is higher.
Recognizing this is your starting point.
2. Educating Yourself
How are you educating yourself about the lives and experiences of those who are different from you? This journey requires curiosity, humility, and a commitment to learning.
Here are a few great books to help you get started:
Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez
The Authority Gap by Mary Ann Sieghart
Read This to Get Smarter by Blair Imani
So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo
The Good Ally by Nova Reid
What are you reading, watching, or listening to? How are these resources shaping your understanding?
3. Leveraging Your Authority
If you are in a position of authority, how are you leveraging it to create equitable policies and decision-making structures within your organization?
Here are some questions to consider:
Can you review health insurances to ensure that care is fair?
Is your company supporting organizations that exploit underrepresented groups?
Is your recruitment process fair and inclusive?
Can you set up mentoring or employee resource groups (ERGs) to support those in need?
If you mentor, is it a two-way street where you also learn from those in a different career state?
4. Being an Upstander, Not a Bystander
Allyship calls for action. Are you an upstander in meetings and daily interactions? Examples include using inclusive language, respecting pronouns, and ensuring that quieter voices are heard. Suggest great candidates for opportunities and advocate for resources like prayer rooms or private spaces for breastfeeding.
5. Embracing Imperfection
How comfortable are you with getting it wrong?
To be an ally is to accept that mistakes will happen.
The key is to learn, avoid defensiveness, and grow from the experience.
6. Choosing Your Battles and Moments
Allyship often involves witnessing someone crossing a line. How you respond matters. Here’s a simple framework:
Depending on the situation, either speak up in the moment or have a private conversation later with a witness present.
Clearly state the facts and consequences of the action (“When you said X, this happened,” rather than “When you said X, they felt Y”).
Stay calm, as heightened emotions and raised voices help no one.
If someone is visibly upset, offer comfort and a safe, judgment-free space to process their emotions.
If you are looking for more guidance on having difficult conversations, check out this blog post to give you more guidelines and frameworks.
Remember to ask permission before stepping in – not everyone wants or needs a protector.
What’s Next?
Allyship is a journey of self-awareness, education, and actionable commitment.
What have allies done for you that has truly helped? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
And if you’re looking to deepen your understanding or discuss how you can build an allyship strategy within your organization, book a free 30-minute call with me here: www.calendly.com/sharptracy to continue the conversation.
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