It's almost 3 years since I lost my job.
As cliched as it sounds, it's honestly been the best thing to ever happen to me but it has been one of the most difficult journeys I've ever gone on.
As I stare into the unknown of what's next for me, I feel excited about what could be coming.
Yes, doors are closing to me, but when my time finished in Italy last year, dramatically and unexpectedly, doors opened wide to me, giving me opportunities I have really valued.
It's both sad and interesting that so many of us don't really know how to navigate our careers and I'll put my hand up to say that I fell into every trap imaginable. Some you might relate;
I kept working in a job that I didn't have any real natural flair or curiosity for…. But felt I SHOULD do the time there
I took inspiration from those around me, instead of looking more deeply within about what I really felt passionate about
I waited for promotion offers to be given to me, instead of asking for what I wanted
I expected my boss to know what was best for me, instead of me taking charge
I took a promotion without any training or support
I didn't take the time to build self-awareness
I didn't get a mentor until I was 35
I found myself reflecting about my journey and what I really did to get to this point and thought this could be of value to my network.
To summarise, it falls into 3 main categories;
1) I discovered my values and started living by them
If you've read a few of these blog posts you'll know that I bang on about values all the time. But it's honestly been the cornerstone to everything important I've done in the past few years. Once I learned about my values, everything made so much more sense and I felt I could make decisions so much more easily, instead of feeling like I was starting from scratch every time.
I've been honouring my values since 2021 and new people in my life since then have commented on the fact that they see me consistently showing up in this way. It impacts my hobbies, the people in my life, my career options, this blog!
2) I invested in my own professional development, with something I was curious about
I've only ever attended a couple of training courses throughout my career and it's been what I felt I needed in that moment, as opposed to something for the future.
I've been interested in mental health and growth for a while and when I lost my job, I knew I would have some time to commit to studying something new and exciting. I toyed with two courses; counselling and coaching. I looked at the time needed to complete the course vs how new and potentially wrong either of them could be (it was very different to what I was doing at the time) so I opted for coaching.
"If anything, it could make me a better manager" I thought.
I honestly believe it has changed my life.
It's changed how I show up, how I listen, how I ask questions, how I read situations, how I navigate conversations. It's made me a better manager, and better friend and person all round.
3) I reflect often
Through various coaching programs, mental health support and communities, what has helped me so much has been having the space and accountability to reflect on what I've learned and what could be better. It has been the way to help me build self-compassion, lower the volume on my imposter syndrome and help me make better decisions on moving forward.
It's something I do weekly with my mentoring program, and I always go first to share my lessons learned from the previous week.
I often look back on the person I was 3 years ago with empathy. It's so easy to want to be angry and frustrated at the choices I made and the way I was treating my own mind…. But I simply didn't have the tools, the support or the background knowledge about what was really going on.
I look to the future and it's still unclear how this will all play out. But the one thing I know in this life is that NOTHING is certain; a job, a relationship, a home, a lifestyle.
The best thing that you can do is take control and start tuning in to YOUR core needs and motivators.
It all starts with choosing you.
To learn more about what type of action has best served me.... tune in for Part 2.
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